Monday, January 27, 2014

Waiting and Recovering

Being injured sucks! There's no two ways about it. You sit on the chair day after day with your injury staring at you in the face, with the twinges of pain, a constant reminder that you're not better...yet.

Now, I'm trying to stay positive, and it's hard. Really hard. I have an amazing group of friends cheering me on, sending me love and healing. Which helps some, but it's still a struggle. 

I'm not one to sit still. I absolutely hate it! I'm always bouncing around the house, bouncing around work, I just bounce! However, yesterday, things changed. I fell. I was managing my way around the kitchen in my knee scooter and tried to turn. The wheel caught and it fell, and I along with it. Of course what's the first thing that hit the ground, my right foot. Yes, my foot that just had surgery 7 days ago. My foot that has a bone anchor in it holding my Posterior Tib Tendon in place.  Amazingly, I didn't curse as I went down (very quickly). I think it was something more of a painful primal scream. Everyone came running into the kitchen and I just sat too much pain to even cry.  I managed with some supervision from my husband to get into bed and elevated my foot and iced it for the next few hours. This morning, I called the doctor explained what happen. Tomorrow morning, I will be heading back for more X-rays to make sure nothing came undone. 
That thought terrifies me! I don't want surgery again. I don't want to be out longer than I need to be. So I wait and hope I just irritated things and with rest and following rules things will calm down. 

This is my recovery spot!
It's no longer about wanting to run. Don't get me wrong, I really really want to run, but it's about getting my life back. It's about not being in some sort of pain 24/7. You see, this injury has been going on for over 3 months. In a sense it's defined me as the"injured runner". What's really sad, is that I have left that happen. 

I have a lot of work to do to get myself in a better mental place, and it is a lot of work. I need to be a patient patient and let myself heal physically. I need Ito let people help me and ask for help. But hey, I have another 2 weeks off of work to work on all of that...So the journey continues....and as my friend, Caolan, has reminded me...